


0% Approval Rating

by ultracore



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crack Treated Seriously, Cupcake war, F/F, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, also shelly is trans, also theres lusamine/ghetsis but theres no. tag for that, archie gets suicide baited by a furby, archie has a gun, bed sharing, boys get crunk, courtney and maxie are twins, cyrus quits his job to join maxies emo band, ghetsis is a soundcloud rapper and colress is tired, homoerotic skiing, i guess?, maxie fucking dies, nonbinary proton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-04 13:52:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultracore/pseuds/ultracore
Summary: It's Giovanni's last year of high school, and he's bored as fuck. Like, the kind of bored where you kind of want to kill someone just because wouldn't that be interesting? Seriously, who the fuck decided to cram teenagers in a room for like an hour and a half every day and talk about how the precise angle of shakespeare's fucking dick? Anyways. He's bored, and has like three friends, so he decides, hey, i'll start a club! It ends up being simultaneously the best and worst decision of his life.Also, he falls fuck deep in love with one of his club members, so that's certainly an important detail.





	1. Ch.1: war.

**Author's Note:**

> huhuhuhuhuhuhhuuhuhuhuhuhu. i feel like i just swallowed one of those quarter rolls but its all nickles. anyway please take my shit theres not much Gay Content yet but look forward to that. coming soon

Boredom.  
Pure, mind-numbing fucking _boredom._ Giovanni felt like he might straight-up die if he spent one more day in this building doing nothing enjoyable. Why did his entire future have to depend on this? Why did he need to know that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell? Why was everyone so loud all the time? Also, why did he have to think that garlic bread was kinda sexy?

He sits at his usual lunch table and sighs, barely dodging a pea that Proton has flung at a screaming Petrel.  
"Dude, I'm allergic to those lil' green shits! Are you trying to kill me?!" He shrieks, on the verge of tears.  
Proton grins in that weird shark way they're capable of grinning.  
"You're allergic to everything, Petty, one pea isn't gonna hurtcha'. Come on, let him into your little heart, you fuckin' weenie."  
They continue in their **Teen Antics** as Ariana arrives at the lunch table, looking classy as fuck like always. If Giovanni wasn't the Worlds Gayest Italian Teenager he probably would've tried to date her - but then again, who wouldn't? 

"Good afternoon, kids." She laughs as a pea sails past her, thwacking straight into some green-haired kid's head.  
"Sup, mom," Proton says, valiantly defending their hat from the grabby hands of the purple-haired jackass next to them.  
She sits gracefully next to Giovanni, who is, as per usual, slouched over looking irritated. She smiles (again, gracefully. Imagine if a ballet dance was a person. That's her, Except the ballet dance is also very tall, plays baseball, and could kick your ass, your dad's ass, your dogs ass, you name it. If it has an ass, she can beat it up.) and pats him on the back. He groans in response.  
"Bad day?" She says sympathetically.  
"I've had a collective four hours of sleep this week. It's Thursday." He groans in anguish.  
"That, and i'm bored."  
She nods thoughtfully.

"You could join a club?"  
"Thought about it. Nothing's really... interesting. Colress invited me to the science club, but I'm so genuinely fucking terrified of that Dulse guy in there. I have no idea how I would even try to greet him. He does that square shit with his hands. What even is that? Is he like, okay?" Proton snorts.

"He says it's a greeting where he comes from. Apparently he was raised in like, a military base or something. At least that's what his sister told me. Also, can't you just make your own club? You're into making videos and shit, how about like... a Minecraft Youtuber cl-"

"Shut the _fuck up."_ Giovanni hisses, not wanting to remember the Dark Days Of Olde in which his 14 year old self made Minecraft Let's Plays and then cried the first time he got a dislike.

"A film club isn't the worst idea, actually. You did go on that week-long rant about the inner-workings of Jurrasic Park." Petrel says, his mouth full of sandwich.  
"Shut up." Giovanni hisses again, because he's a human snake. Actually, from this point on it's safe to assume he's just hissing at all times. "It's not the worst idea, though, you're right. Actually... That's a pretty good idea." He ponders for a moment.

"I mean, how bad could it turn out?" 

 

\---

 

This was kind of a disaster. Giovanni had stepped into the club room on their first official day of Club Stuff with somewhat high hopes for having some Funsies or something, and would have... never expected this kind of turnout.

"Dude you look SO fuckin brittle. I could take you. You look like the kinda guy who's like, naturally kinda thique, but you're kind of a bitch."  
"That is... Incredibly rude?"

Archie Aogiri, the swim team's top dog, was here for some reason, and he kept trying to fight Lysandre, The Tall Guy, who Giovanni probably would've thought was an okay guy if not for the weird way he talked that kind of implied he just wanted to murder everyone. Beauty this, preservation that. Lysandre's friend, Maxie, had spent most of the time trying to deflect Archie's punch-advances but in a way that implied that he himself was going to fight Archie, which was ridiculous- Maxie might have height on him, but he was the skinniest, lankiest person Giovanni had ever seen in his life. 

"Archibald, I have known you since elementary school. You have been in one fight, and you came to my house and cried about it. I had to give you first aid because you were scared your mom would be mad if she knew you got in a fight. Also, your punches suck."  
"You wanna go, Maxathan?!"  
"That's not even a real name!"

Some kid in a space hoodie who he didn't recognize was completely still in a corner, looking like he wanted to leave as soon as possible, and God, he felt that. 

But the worst thing. The absolute worst fucking this was that Ghetsis.  
**Ghetsis FUCKING Harmonia.**  
Ghetsis fucking Harmonia the soundcloud rapper.  
Was in his clubroom with a skateboard, just kind of holding it for some reason.  
Just standing there, making witty remarks at the Fight Boys and laughing(even though not a single person was actually paying any attention to him), holding his shitty skateboard, with his shitty green hair, in Giovanni's fucking clubroom.  
Being _there._ Being _him._ For some reason, it physically felt like every word he said had a capital letter at the beginning.  
"Haha, get it, Lysandre? You're shaped like a Dorito! And your hair is the color of spicy nacho cheese!"

Giovanni didn't generally regret things. But making this club had to be the biggest regret of his life so far. As Maxie took off his glasses, preparing to recieve what Archie called a "better decking than anyone in Yu-Gi-Oh could ever deliver(which Ghetsis, of course, made and innuendo about)," Giovanni finally inhaled and, voice cracking yelled,

 _"OKaY. SO. WELCOME TO FILM CLUB, EVERYONE."_ Immediately everyone went quiet.

"... This is a clubroom?" Archie said, perplexed.  
Giovanni was screaming inside. He had experienced a lot of horrible things in his life, but god damn if this wasn't the most agonizing and traumatic moment of his entire 18 years of living so far. Was anyone actually here to join his club?

"There's... a huge, bright yellow sign on the door that says 'Film Club...'" The kid in the space hoodie finally speaks up, and Giovanni, for the first time in his entire life, feels like someone on this bitch of an earth has common sense and isn't a total dipshit.  
Maybe.

"Oh. Huh." Archie says, quietly for some reason.  
"This is a clubroom?" Says Ghetsis the Dipshit, loudly, and annoyingly, like the loud and annoying dipshit he is.  
Maxie reels back his fist and then lowers it, as if gauging how worthy Ghetsis is to be punched by him. Which he is apparently not. 

"Yes. This... This is film club."  
"Oh wow, I had no idea, really." Archie says.  
"Y..." Giovanni sighs. "Yeah."  
"I seriously can't believe i missed the si-"  
"LOOK. Are you joining, or aren't you, dude."  
"Oh, yeah, sure."  
Giovanni sighs for probably the millionth time that day. 

\---

 

By the end of the meeting, everyone has joined, and it's honestly... Unfortunate, to Giovanni.  
Archie was an idiot (and also, apparently, colorblind?), Maxie was an idiot disguised as a genius, Lysandre was... tolerable, albeit kind of weird (and terrifyingly tall. Seriously, the only person shorter than him was the space hoodie kid- Cyrus. Why did this happen to him specifically?), Ghetsis was... Ghetsis. Cyrus seemed... alright, overall, but Giovanni knew that with his luck, he'd probably turn out to be a cannibal or something who was after his meaty and powerful thighs, so he didn't put too much stock into the thought of Cyrus being a pleasant person.  
His club that he'd decided to start for fun was about to probably become the most taxing chore of his life.  
His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he checks it, really, really hoping that Proton didn't eat another raw egg.

idiot soup (Proton) : so i heard from a little birdie. actually it was just n. that. god. HES in your club huh

panini nendoroid (Gio) : Proton. Kill me. I'm begging you.

uuuuhhhhh (Petrel) : dude oh no 

uuuuhhhhh (Petrel) : so like. whats the assassination plan then. did he try to make you listen to his mixtape. he did that to me and proton once and i thought i was gonna turn into a fucking breadstick it hurt so much

panini nendoroid (Gio) : No, but he did attempt to try to sell me his track that was apparently called "Shitting Flames of Hell." So that was. Hmmm.

idiot soup (Proton) : tell him to buy my cross stitch of komaeda undertale and then youll buy it

panini nendoroid (Gio) : Why do you still have that.

idiot soup (Proton) : dude. giogio. you dont just ask a kid why theyve got komaeda undertale j chilling in their pocket at all times. hes my good luck charm. my sexy wexy good luck charm with white hair. please make ghetsis buy him i feel haunted

Giovanni groans, closing the group chat.  
Was it seriously going to be like this for the rest of the year? 

... Well, at least he was less bored than before.


	2. chapter 2. the squeakuel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwah. a03 fucked my formatting up so im sorry for the horrible wall of text at the end. i dont know how to fix it

"TRUE LIFE. I'M ALLERGIC TO MY OWN GOD DAMN DICK." Ghetsis says, waving his arms dramatically like the cabbage shaped idiot he is.  
"We're... not making that." Giovanni sighs in defeat. 

It had been like this since the meeting had started nearly half an hour ago. It was mostly everyone awkwardly sitting while Ghetsis said a bunch of stupid shit. Like, a lot of stupid shit. At one point he had suggested they follow his Soundcloud so they could listen to his hit single, "Cocaine Ruin Your Brain", while he scrubbed at his pristine white Nike shoes with a toothbrush. Every single day he wore shirts so similar that Giovanni wasn't sure he actually owned more than two- they were always weirdly neon galaxy print tank-tops that said "REAL GAMER" or "MLG PRO" on them. It was horrifying. He babbled on continuously about his weird and stupid concepts for their first official club short film, but Giovanni hadn't been paying attention, because he was too busy fantasizing about making Ghetsis watch in horror as he ate those stupid fucking shoes.

"It'll be funny! People will love it!" Ghetsis complained. 

"Even if ... even if anyone wanted to do that, there is absolutely no way we could ever get it past student council. So, no. Also, _I hate you._ " There was pain in Giovanni's voice. Pure, unadulterated agony. This was the effect Ghetsis Harmonia had on him. 

"We could do a documentary on the ocean!" Archie said, as though he hadn't suggested that six times already.  
"Or, we could go with volcanoes, which are _infinitely_ cooler." Maxie scoffs, as if he hadn't said that exact combination of words in response every time.  
"I like both. It would be nice to contribute to the documentation of earth's beauty. After all, it is so fleeting. There's so much filth in this world. People... are filth. I'd like to rid this earth of it all." Lysandre says, as though this isn't a completely and totally weird thing that no one in real life would ever say. Like seriously, who writes this shit? 

"Cool. Well, I'm going to ignore all of you again, because i've..." Giovanni sighs, standing, because he fucking hates this club. "Already told all of you why those ideas wouldn't work. We aren't really a team of scientists with the equipment OR the time for that. We're a bunch of teenagers in a club. Also, Lysandre, I know English isn't your first language, but maybe don't imply you're going to wipe out the human race every time you open your mouth. Thank you." The tall dorito boy nods, but everyone knows his ass isn't gonna stop. 

Ghetsis suddenly stands out of his chair, wailing "OH MY GOD," and making a beeline for his skateboard. Maxie's face looks like it has physically turned into a question mark for a moment, and Ghetsis hops on the aforementioned skateboard.  
"I have a date with Lusamine and I forgot! Oh my god!" He cries in anguish.  
"Oh, how horrible. Now you can't help us come up with an idea for our film. That's tragic." Giovanni says dryly.  
“See ya, Gigi!” Ghetsis skateboards our of the room, like an asshole, because he’s like that. Giovanni sits down for about ten seconds before he hears clattering and something that vaguely resembles the Roblox oof, followed by Lusamine laughing.

"Okay, so now that he's gone," Giovanni says, already dead inside. "Does anyone have any good ideas?"  
Cyrus, who was there the whole time but has said literally nothing for fear of being spoken over by the green idiot, coughs and says,  
"...We could do a fairytale or something... I know a lot of those that we could recreate. I'm... I used to be really into constellations, so I know the stories behind most of them. They're pretty interesting." He says, and Giovanni thanks whatever god there is for granting him at least one sensible person, and then takes back that thanks because Ghetsis is still in his fucking club.  
Lysandre nods in approval. "The stars are of great beauty as well. I am glad there is no one to tarnish them."  
Maxie and Archie are too busy having a slapfight over whether water or rocks are cooler to notice any of this, because they're... Them.

"That's a fantastic idea. Did you have any in mind?" Giovanni says.  
"Um... Well, a few. It really depends on what everyone likes, I guess. I could compile them for you, if you'd like." "That would be... the fucking best. Thanks." Giovanni, internally, sobs with joy because finally, _finally_ something is getting done. "Wait, what's happening?" Archie says, having won the slapfight, but not the eternal debate on rocks versus water. "We're doing constellation lore. Get ready to wear a toga, Aqua Lad," Giovanni says, smug. "Idea courtesy of Cyrus, who I already like more than any of you. So! That means next time we meet we're planning. Writing scripts and stuff. Buckle up, you little monsters." \--- Giovanni had forgotten the original reason he'd started this club- now that they had a goal of some kind, he was certainly regretting it less, though he did still regret not having some kind of application process or something, because he'd ended up basically turning into a babysitter for a bunch of annoying people he had either never met or had a strong disdain for. He continued to reflect on the pros and cons of the horrible hell club as he walked down the hall, noticing black marks on the ground from where Ghetsis had hopefully died on his skateboard earlier. "Giovanni!" A voice said down the hall behind him, sounding sort of like a yell, but like maybe that person had never yelled ever, in their life. He turned around, and there was Cyrus, walking towards him. The guy really was quiet. _...Hm. Kinda cute._ "Hey, Cyrus. Did you need somethin'?" Cyrus catches up with him and nods. "Well, you said it would be good if I made you a document or something of the stories I had in mind, but I imagine you'd rather not wait until next Wednesday, and I don't see you much outside of the club meetings, so... I was wondering if, um. You wanted to trade phone numbers or something." "Oh, sure. Here, lemme..." Giovanni pulls out his phone, handing it to Cyrus, who types his number in. During those six brief seconds, Giovanni notices Cyrus has like... the tiniest hands. They're so small. Then again, he has giant fucking banana hands, so like pretty much everyone has baby hands compared to him. They also look really soft, a- "So, um, just text me whenever and i'll send you the document once it's done." Cyrus says, handing him the phone. Their fingers brush, and Giovanni screams inside when his suspicions are confirmed- his hands _are_ soft. Giovanni, who is too busy trying desperately to suppress the crush he knows his dumb gay ass is going to have on Cyrus soon if he doesn't defeat the Gay Thoughts currently slapping him in the face. "Uh, yeah! Will do! I gotta go, though, but i'll text you." "Oh, sorry if I held you up." "Nah it's cool!" Giovanni says, trying not to die inside. "I'll see you later!" And he strides off, craving death's merciful embrace. _You can't just get a crush on any guy who interacts with you! _He thinks. He catches sight of Ariana, who just left baseball practice and is still in her uniform. She waves to her teammates and walks to him, blessing him with her presence. "How did Film Club go? Have you murdered Ghetsis yet? Tell me he's dead. Please." "Ghetsis isn't dead yet. Soon." She nods. "Neat. Who did you just swap numbers with? Did you catch feelings?" " _No._ He's just a guy from the club. He wanted to send me stuff for our short film." She grins.  
"If you say so."__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres ghets song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkv4uzN2BG0


End file.
